Pets teach no regrets - Sentinel & Enterprise

COURTESY PHOTO Molly didn't care about plans or the past; she cared about just being with us.

Parent Forward by Bonnie J. Toomey

You may teach your dog new tricks and spend much of their puppy days training them, but there's a lot we can learn from our pets as well.

It was difficult and painful to say goodbye to our beloved Molly after 12 years, but she gave our family the chance to reflect on some important lessons.

The day of her memorial, I hiked alongside my husband, children, and grandchildren up to one of Molly's favorite spots, where we each took a turn sharing our own Molly moments. Through laughs and tears we looked out over the lake, another of her favorite places, and I realized her greatest lesson to us all was to live in the moment.

I watched my children release her remains to a rainbow sun and gentle breeze. I saw the look of love and respect in their eyes.

Molly didn't care about plans or the past; she cared about just being with us. She was expert at getting us to breathe in and appreciate the time at hand. Catching the sight of her running through the woods or feeling her contentedness as she nestled nearby after a belly rub were some of her reminders of just how beautiful and simple life can be.

Shortly after she passed away and leading up to the family gathering to commemorate her life, I worried how we would talk to our grandkids about her death. But I had forgotten that children are naturally resilient and curious and deal with life in a truthful and here-and-now kind of way.

My 4-year-old grandson

called us.

"Grammy, I'm sorry about Molly. Where is she now?"

"She is lying right here on her bed," I said choking up quietly.

"Can she talk?"

"No," I said gently.

"Can she walk?"

"No," I answered.

"I miss Molly," he said.

"So do I."

His parents had explained that Molly had been cremated and when they arrived the next day, I led him holding the wildflowers he had picked with his parents to a candlelit nook where we had her picture, flowers from the garden and, to lighten the moment, a caricature of Molly that Papa made out of hotdogs and toothpicks.

"Where's Molly, Grammy?"

"Right here," I said showing him her small flowered tin, "We're bringing her up to the mountaintop today." I added she was already in Dog Heaven, the same thing my dad had said to me when I was a child.

"OK," he finally said and then he asked brightly if he could have a hot dog too.

Living.

The night before, our 2-year-old grandson had picked up on his parents' cues.

"We are going to Grammy's and Papa's tomorrow," my daughter explained as she tucked him in and then she paused, "for a sad reason," but before she could finish he asked the question.

"Oh, because of Molly?"

Kids live in the moment too, just like our pets.

And the next day together on the summit during the little ceremony, our grandsons held out their small hands eagerly.

"We want some too!"

Even I had to chuckle when our youngest one had managed to get it all over his face. But he soon tossed the rest up into the air just like everyone else.

The ache of Molly's absence is what reminds us all that time is precious and that relationship is what is at the core of our human experience.

Our pets give us the chance to learn a very important lesson: caring and respect and how to live while we're among the living.

"Better, happier, more balanced lives" is what Cesar Milan, the famed dog-whisperer says he has learned from animals. "They don't regret the past or worry about the future," he says.

WebMD touts myriad other tricks our pets can teach us. Here are some surprising lessons from our four-legged friends.

* Focus on one thing at a time.

* Take a nap when needed.

* Walk every day.

* Cultivate friendships.

* Don't hold a grudge.

* Smile or put a spring in your step; there's a strong connection between gratitude and general well-being.

* Maintain curiosity.

* Be silly. Cardiologists at the University of Maryland Medical Center found a stronger sense of humor in those with healthy hearts.

* Get a back rub; touch can ease pain, boost the immune system and is powerful.

* Drink water; dogs lap it up. Water keeps your muscles and tissues healthy without adding extra calories.

* Eat fish. Rush University researchers found those who eat fish once a week are 60 percent less likely to develop Alzheimer's.

* If you love someone, show it. Dogs don't play hard to get.

* Play nurtures creativity, intelligence, problem solving and social skills. Children playing in natural settings has been linked to better distance vision, fewer ADHD symptoms, and better school performance.

* Groom. Good personal hygiene increases self-esteem.

* Be aware of body language. Animals are great at reading posture, speech patterns and eye contact.

* Stretch often. It increases muscle strength, endurance and power.

* Seek out shade. Most likely your pet will take a break in a cool spot; the health benefits of staying protected from the sun's harmful UV rays are unquestionable.

* Stick to a schedule. The body responds well to regular sleep, exercise and eating.

But most of all, try to live in the moment, so that when you have to say goodbye to someone you love, you can do it without regrets.

Bonnie J. Toomey writes and blogs about families in today's world. You can visit her at www.parentforward.com and contact her at bonniejtoomey@gmail.com.

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